Next week: travelling once again

I won't be around next week, so if you're hoping for a new post then... well... sorry. I will have some limited access to the Internet, but I will actually be trying to ignore the Internet while I'm gone. I know, some of you are saying "What? Dave ignore the Internet? You have got to be kidding!" But it's true.

I'm going back to Estonia for a week. Got some business to take care of, some people to visit, and some things to do. It'll be a very busy week, but somehow I'll fit all I need to get done in. Other than all the business and visiting, there is one major hidden agenda for the trip. We (my family and I) know that we will be moving back to Estonia at some point. The big question is when. Will it be this year? Next year? In 10 years? We don't know, and one of the reasons for this trip is to try to sort some of that out. There are some decisions that we need to be making very soon, and my hope and prayer is that during this trip it would be clear what we need to do. If not, we will be left with doing what we want to do. But that is a can of worms that I will open at some other time. For now, we would really appreciate your prayers as I take some time to figure some things out.

After moving back to Canada, the one thing that we know for sure is that we are meant to be here for a season (whatever that means). Other than that, we don't know much. We don't know why we're here, what we're supposed to be doing, and for how long. Much the same applies to our going back to Estonia, only it's much more vague (if that's possible). We don't know when, we don't know how, we don't know where, and we don't know what. To explain, we don't know when we are going back. That is a very annoying uncertainty. We don't know how we are going back, as missionaries or simply as people looking for a job and a house and a car, and well just starting all over again. We don't know where we will end up going, although we are very partial to going to the island where Alla's family lives. And finally we don't know what we will be doing. As mentioned will we be missionaries? Or will we be going just a people looking for a job and a house. If as missionaries, what will we be doing and with whom? If just as people, what kind of work will I find, and what kind of a house can we get? Simple questions I know. Far too simple. Ones that should have been answered a long time ago, but ones we don't have any answers for.

Maybe you can understand our annoyance and frustration with our situation. Until those questions are answered, the same questions apply here as well. Which means we are living in a state of annoyance and frustration. Most of the people I know who are my age are settled and starting to look forward to retirement... sort of. At least they have their house, car(s), kids, pets, RRSPs, investments, and a good handle on their mortgage. We don't have our own house, we have one old car, we have kids and a cat, no RRSPs or investments, and no mortgage. We started from scratch when we moved back to Canada three years ago. From scratch.... nada... zilch... zippo... point zero. So yeah....

I'm tired of floating, I need direction and movement.

So yeah, if you don't mind keeping us in your prayers, we would really appreciate it.

A Mental Splinter

OK, so it's been a while. I know, I know.

So, lets begin this off with some fun. Maybe it won't be fun, maybe it will.

A friend of mine has a blog, one of the better ones I have read. One recurrent theme of his is the need for more love above all else. Somehow, I have also spent a lot of time mulling over this. It has been a mental splinter for me. You know, one of those ideas that get in your brain and no matter what you do, you just keep thinking about it. There has been a lot of rhetoric and discussion, most of it doesn't really result in anything to be honest. Which is why when this past week, this splinter was implanted, it seemed more than just poignant.

Dunno why, but I started thinking about 1 Cor. 13. You know, the famous "love" chapter. But rather than jump past the first three verses... somehow my brain got stuck on the first three. I guess you could call it meditation, except for the fact that I was sanding some maple at the time while the drone of the dust collection system and a table saw made listening to the radio next to impossible. Somehow in the midst of all that, I had one clear and cohesive thought.

I know the main content of the first three verses reasonable well. The apostle Paul lists off a number of gifts, and explains that if we do these things without love, it means nothing, it produces nothing, it accomplishes nothing. But then came the brainfart: compare that to the main point of Matt. 7:22-23. Using your gifts, even performing miracles... but where does it get you? OK, here we are, that big idea I had: without love we are useless.

U s e l e s s.

Not worthless, scripture makes it very clear that we are never in a state of being worthless. That is one of the most effective lies that the enemy has ever told. Even in our sinful state before salvation, we are worth so much that God sent His Son. Sin has never changed our worth in the eyes of God. It never can change that.

But what can change is whether or not we are useful to God. And amazingly, according to 1 Cor 13:1-3, being saved and actively using our gifts does not constitute usefulness. Did you catch that? Performing miracles, knowing and using our gifts, being active in ministry, all of that does not mean that you are useful.

This one thought floored me, and I can't stop thinking about it.

What really makes us useful?

Do we really care?

Merry Christmas!

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas. From our family to yours, may you have a great time with friends and family, share a lot of time full of love and joy, and create some memories that will last a lifetime!

A Monument to Yesterday

So, yesterday Erik walks up to me and asks me to take his training wheels off. I think, why not? So out come the wrenches and I take them off. I tell Erik to get his helmet on, we go out to the sidewalk, I help Erik up onto the seat. He puts his feet on the pedals, I tell him to start pedalling and give him a push. I thought for a second about holding on and helping him along, but then I got this slightly sadistic desire to watch and see if he wipes out.

So, I let go.

And what does that little turkey do? He rides to the end of the block, puts on the brakes, and falls over. Gets up, and yells for help to get going again. I jog over, give him another push, and off he goes back to where he started. Just like that, my 4 year old boy decides to give up training wheels and ride like the big boys.

Ok, he still can't start on his own. And most of the rides end up with a small wipeout when he forgets to put his feet down after he brakes. But something happened at that moment.

I felt pride swell.

It's a good feeling. I stood a little taller. My voice got a little louder. The sun was brighter, the grass was greener. It was cool.

About vacations

We are just on the tail end of this years vacation time. The company I'm working for is small enough, everyone takes time off together and they just shut down for two weeks. This year, we spent some time around home doing some local stuff with the kids, then we went up north to my Dad's cabin for a while, then back home to do some fix ups around the house. The time we had up north was probably one of the best 'times off' that I have ever had, if not the best. It was just a real vacation. Lazy. Slow. Enjoyable. Fun. Lazy. We ate a lot, slept some, played lots, and ate some more.

One of the things the kids really wanted to do was to go camping, but since we don't have a tent yet, we offered them the next best thing. Being basically in Muskoka, my Dad's cabin is in the thick of mosquito country as well. Fortunately, the cabin also has a large screened in deck. I took an inflatable mattress and set the kids up for the night on the deck. Alla took the following picture in the morning:

One of the other things we experienced was being pelted by pinecones. At first it was hard to understand what was going on, until one day my Dad noticed this guy on the woodshed roof. The squirrels were picking them and eating them, and dropping them as well. Pesky little buggers.

As well, we finally got around to making a little canoe trip. We've gone around the lake, in and out of bays, exploring marshy areas. But this time we packed a picnic and went lake hopping. After canoeing to the far end of the lake, we made a quick protage to a small lake just a bit to the south. From there we canoed to the far end of that lake, and made another small portage to another small lake. From there, it was across the lake, down a marsh filled river and into another lake. This is a lake that holds some history for me.

Back when I was in high school, my best friend and I wanted to go camping. So it was back then that we loaded up a canoe and followed this same route. We spent the day fishing and enjoying ourselves. At the end of the day we set up camp, had supper, and settled down for the night after sitting by the fire for a while. Around 3 am, we woke up soaking wet. It had started to rain, and unfortunately the spot we picked to put the tent ended up being, well, a bit of a bowl. As it rained, the bowl filled up, and we woke up like potatoes in a cold stew. Our sleeping bags were soaked, we were soaked and wet, and very cold. We got up, tried to start a fire, but everything was wet. We were more than miserable. We finally simply packed everything up and headed home. We paddled through the rain and got back to the cabin at around 5 am. My Dad got up and made us some pancakes to warm us up. That was the last time I was Juniper Lake until last week.

We paddled through the marsh, and half way down the lake. We found that same camp site, and decided to picnic there. It was great. Here's the view from the camp site.

We sat around, snacked, the kids played with sticks and pinecones. I had a couple of pepperoni sticks.

Then we started back home, exploring the marsh as well.

As we were exploring, we found a quite a few frogs like this one.

And then we made one of our best discoveries. As we meandered along we went closer to a clump of marshy stuff so I could take a picture of a couple of flowers. Here's the clump we found.

On closer inspection I noticed that the clump seemed to be covered with a tiny little red flowers. They were really small, but they were everywhere. I looked around and each of the clumps had the same red shade to their bases. You can see them hiding between the blades of grass.

Here's nice close up, and maybe now you can tell what kind of tiny flowers these are.

Yup, if you recognized them, it's them tiny fly eating plants. Not the clam type, but they're covered with these long hairs, and each one has a drop of dew like liquid on the end. It's stickly stuff and traps bugs when they land for a drink.

Anyhow, it was an interesting discovery, especially since the marsh was full of it. I had no idea that this particular carnivorous plant lived in Canada. But at any rate, it was stuff like this that made this holiday one of the most enjoyable I have ever had.