I won't be around next week, so if you're hoping for a new post then... well... sorry. I will have some limited access to the Internet, but I will actually be trying to ignore the Internet while I'm gone. I know, some of you are saying "What? Dave ignore the Internet? You have got to be kidding!" But it's true.
I'm going back to Estonia for a week. Got some business to take care of, some people to visit, and some things to do. It'll be a very busy week, but somehow I'll fit all I need to get done in. Other than all the business and visiting, there is one major hidden agenda for the trip. We (my family and I) know that we will be moving back to Estonia at some point. The big question is when. Will it be this year? Next year? In 10 years? We don't know, and one of the reasons for this trip is to try to sort some of that out. There are some decisions that we need to be making very soon, and my hope and prayer is that during this trip it would be clear what we need to do. If not, we will be left with doing what we want to do. But that is a can of worms that I will open at some other time. For now, we would really appreciate your prayers as I take some time to figure some things out.
After moving back to Canada, the one thing that we know for sure is that we are meant to be here for a season (whatever that means). Other than that, we don't know much. We don't know why we're here, what we're supposed to be doing, and for how long. Much the same applies to our going back to Estonia, only it's much more vague (if that's possible). We don't know when, we don't know how, we don't know where, and we don't know what. To explain, we don't know when we are going back. That is a very annoying uncertainty. We don't know how we are going back, as missionaries or simply as people looking for a job and a house and a car, and well just starting all over again. We don't know where we will end up going, although we are very partial to going to the island where Alla's family lives. And finally we don't know what we will be doing. As mentioned will we be missionaries? Or will we be going just a people looking for a job and a house. If as missionaries, what will we be doing and with whom? If just as people, what kind of work will I find, and what kind of a house can we get? Simple questions I know. Far too simple. Ones that should have been answered a long time ago, but ones we don't have any answers for.
Maybe you can understand our annoyance and frustration with our situation. Until those questions are answered, the same questions apply here as well. Which means we are living in a state of annoyance and frustration. Most of the people I know who are my age are settled and starting to look forward to retirement... sort of. At least they have their house, car(s), kids, pets, RRSPs, investments, and a good handle on their mortgage. We don't have our own house, we have one old car, we have kids and a cat, no RRSPs or investments, and no mortgage. We started from scratch when we moved back to Canada three years ago. From scratch.... nada... zilch... zippo... point zero. So yeah....
I'm tired of floating, I need direction and movement.
So yeah, if you don't mind keeping us in your prayers, we would really appreciate it.
